We hear the word “No,” 148,000 times or more by the time we are eighteen. We can become accustomed to rejection and can be afraid to try for fear we will fail. Because we hear the word no, we can fall into the pattern of saying the same thing to others; our children, our co-workers, partners, etc… and this propagates like that old Bret commercial, “And so on, and so on and so on…” We become conditioned to follow our own limiting beliefs and therefore fall into the habit of accepting “I can't do that.”
And what’s more, as a result we attract people into our lives that say the same thing. We are naturally comfortable in surrounding ourselves with like-minded people because they don’t push us out of our comfort zone. It’s easy to stay in our bubble of comfort even if that bubble isn’t really working for us.
Have you ever had an idea, became excited, then shared this with someone and they laughed?
After university I began my work life as a secretary in a large downtown firm. When I quit my first job to try my hand in a sales role, my boss at the time literally scoffed out loud and said, “What? You?”….well that job change was the stepping stone to my entire career. Because, if I had listened to that person, accepted his limited judgement of my capabilities (which I knew were much greater than my current role allowed me to do!), internalized that negative response, and not moved to this job outside my comfort zone, I guarantee I would still be a slave to a large corporation, wishing the 9-5 clock would move faster and dreading every single day ahead with the only goal to try to make ends meet.
So how do you take a leap of faith and make a conscious decision to change?
My 5 key pieces of advice that can change your mindset and put you on a path of positivity:
- Take baby steps – set your intention and start.
- Start moving quietly in the new direction. Don’t tell the whole world you are thinking of taking action that contradicts people’s current impression of you. That only invites criticism which can lead to self-doubt and inaction. And when you've made progress, announce it to the world.
- Stop complaining. If you simply complain, it attracts others to do the same and an endless spiral of negativity can occur. Identify ways around a situation and take action.
- Surround yourself with people that will congratulate your accomplishments, encourage your goals and dream with you. Pay attention to how other people talk about their lives and you may find yourself eliminating those that complain about theirs.
- Take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments. This allows you to see how far you’ve come versus how far you have to go!
In conclusion: imagine how your life will change if you make a conscious choice to listen for those limiting beliefs. And before impulsively acting on them, you stop, make an assessment and as a result, replace negative self-talk with positive inner voices.
As Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich:
If you think you are beaten you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but think you can't, it’s almost certain you won't.
The fact that you are reading this means you are open to changing your life for the better.
Say "Yes"! And watch what happens...
Take the first step to allowing the world to be your oyster!
Author, Speaker and Business Leader
www.claudiaharvey.com | #blog